What's your problem? It's your favorite. Almonds and raisins.
Fine, don't eat.
But I'm warning you. That's it for the rest of the day.
Don't be complaining later.
Hey, hey. Come on.
You're crazy. You know that? You're nuts.
Quiet. Be as quiet as a you-know-what.
This is so bogus. I'm not wearing a wire.
Turn around. I should be frisking you, man.
- Yeah? - Yeah.
- Why were you talking to the DA? - They came to me.
- What was I supposed to do? - Did you roll over? / No.
- I didn't tell them anything. - Did you roll over? / No.
I swear to god. I didn't tell them anything. You know me.
Yeah, I know you, And you're making me nervous.
You know what, not just me. You're making everybody nervous.
Hey, there's a man in there.
He was chasing me. I think he killed someone.
Stay back here. We'll take a look.
MONK Season 4 Epi. 12 Mr. Monk and the Captain's Marriage
ORIGINAL AIR DATE ON USA: 2006/01/27
Monk.
Natalie. Thanks for getting here so fast.
- This is not an appliance store. - Yeah, I know.
You said it was an appliance store.
I'm sorry, I lied. But if I'd told you
it was a junkyard, it would've taken me 5 hours to get you down here.
This is a junkyard.
W..wait, so you lied to us?
I'm sorry.. This is a big case.
It just went down. About 20 minutes ago.
We've got a fresh crime scene for once.
I wanted him here right away.
I can't believe you lied to us.
Look, I said I'm sorry. I think twice.
How many times do I need to apologize?
- 6. - 6.
Sorry, sorry, sorry.
Can we do this?
The victim was a small time drug dealer.
Jimmy Botsdale. They called him Chicklet.
He used to work for Michael Karpov.
Karpov, I was just reading about that guy.
Karpov is going on trial next month for criminal conspiracy
and money laundering. I helped make the case.
Chicklet was supposed to testify against him.
Look at all this junk.
They should get rid of it. And put it somewhere.
Well, they did it, Mr. Monk. They put it here. It's a junkyard.
- You can say that again. - I'm gonna keep talking.
Somebody lured Chicklet here this morning and killed him.
There was a witness however, a homeless man. He saw the whole thing.
Well, where is he?
We lost him. He flagged down a patrol car and then he disappeared.
But we got his name. We'll find him. / Uh oh.
- What's up? - That car.
One headlight's not broken. It's the only one that's not broken.
Thank you.
It's Karen.
Yeah, Karen. I gotta take this. Hey, Randy.
Hey, could you fill them in?
Hey. Did you get my note?
Oh, my god. / Don't touch the body. CSI isn't here yet.
- Okay, I won't touch the body. - He was bludgeoned.
Yeah, looks like with the barrel of a gun.
See these impressions?
If they had a gun, why didn't they shoot him?
Yeah, that is a good question.
Look at this. Victim's cell phone.
Empty.
No memory, no address book. Like it's been erased.
Could a stun gun do that?
Erase everything?
Yeah, maybe.
Yeah, I'll have the coroner look for burn marks.
Stun gun.
That's good.
You're good.
Because I'm your husband and that makes it my business.
No, Karen, you don't want to talk about it? You gotta talk about it.
Karen, No, I'm not yelling. I'm trying to..
Karen.
That's not cool, man. You should treat her better.
What did you say? Oh, I just..
I don't really think you appreciate her.
She's a..she's a hell of a woman.
- Do I know you? - No.
No, you don't know me. The question is, do you know your wife?
- What's your name? - Sharkey, sir.
Well, Sgt. Sharkey. You're obviously trying to tell me something.
Are you trying to tell me that you know my wife?
Maybe I do.
You'd better wipe that smile off your face.
Well, I don't know if I can do that. Karen put it there.
Okay. Hold on.
Hey, you guys, you can't fight here. This is a crime scene.
You wanna take it down the street? Let's go.
Oh, sure, yeah. That's how you solve everything, isn't it?
Do you ever wonder what Karen's doing on Tuesday nights?
You know, when you're at the staff meeting..
Whoa, Sergeant, shut up. That's an order.
Take it from me, pal. She ain't missing you.
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
All right. I'm okay. It's okay.
Okay, I'm okay.
Just walk away from this.
Captain.
You maniac. What, are you kidding.
You knocked my tooth out. God.
What the hell's going on?
Do you know what that son of a bitch said to me?
- Maniac. - Just call the paramedics.
Don't move. Nobody moves.
- I'm going home. - Captain, you're in charge..
Randy, get out of my way.
What the hell happened?
Monk, what happened?
I'm gonna need statements from everybody.
Leland, what are you doing here?
Did something happen?
Now, that's a good question.
What did you do?
Did you turn the heat up?
It's like a sauna in here.
Well, it's supposed to be 99 degrees exactly.
It's called the Gittomer method.
It's very therapeutic.
I can't breathe.
What happened to your hand?
I punched a cop.
- You punched a cop? - Yeah.
A sergeant. Ryan Sharkey.
Why?
You don't know?
He said you and he were having an affair.
And you believed him? Leland, he is lying.
Why would he lie, Karen?
Why would anybody lie about something like that?
Well, I don't know. Maybe it was a joke.
You know, cop humor. I slept with your old lady, ha ha ha.
- So you're denying it. - No, I'm not denying it.
It's so crazy I won't even respond to it.
I can't believe we're even talking about this.
It sure would explain a lot.
- Like what? - You know.
Like you sleeping in the guest room.
Because you've been snoring.
I didn't just start snoring, Karen.
And you forgetting our anniversary.
And you not wanting to touch me anymore.
Leland, we have problems. I'm not saying we don't.
But that isn't one of them. Or at least it wasn't.
You used to tie my neckties.
If he's convicted, Michael Karpov is looking at 25 years to life
which gives us motive with a capital m.
That makes him suspect number one.
What about physical evidence?
Unfortunately there's not much.
Crime scene was contaminated by two of our own.
But that's a bad news.
The good news is there's a witness, a homeless man,a transient.
A homeless transient.
He's known as Jerry or Gerald. 35, maybe 40 years old.
If we can find him, we can bring Karpov in for a lineup.
Thank you, lieutenant, I'll take it from here.
Actually, sir, I'm in charge.
Says who?
Deputy chief.
I'm really sorry, sir.
Oh. Um,
carry on, I'll be in my office.
Wait, why don't you keep the pointer.
I don't want the pointer, Randy. You're doing a great job. Carry on.
No, no, it's okay. I can use my finger.
See, works just as well.
Even better, it bends.
Take the pointer, Randy.
All right, let's get to work.
Careful, both your hands, that's too high.
These things are death traps. It's not just my opinion. It's a fact.
In Belgium, 1952, a kid almost died on one of those.
- There he is. - Where?
- That guy? - Yep.
Doesn't look like a drug dealer.
He's indicted for dealing. He's guilty of a whole lot worse.
Mr. Karpov. Good morning.
- Ah. - Got a minute?
Captain Stottlemeyer, for you any time.
Teddy. These men are policemen.
What do we do when we see a policeman?
Ah ha, very good. See, I'm teaching him respect for the law.
Chicklet has passed on.
Yes, I heard. Heartbreaking.
Hello, you have a little.. You have a smudge there.
- I bet I can read your mind, Captain. - I'll get it.
You wanna know where I was yesterday morning.
That's right, about 6 a.m.
6 a.m., I was in bed with my beautiful wife where I belong.
- Can you prove that? - That's not the question.
The question is can you prove I wasn't.
Do you own a stun gun, Mr. Karpov?
What would I do with a gun?
I'm a businessman.
- I import furniture. - So you do.
And you are a very pretty lady.
Perhaps I can sell you endtable, handcart from Estonia.
Then you would believe me.
Look, you're watching me, the press is watching me.
I would be a fool to sneak away and do this thing.
And I'm not a fool.
Either you did it or you hired somebody to do it.
You see that, Teddy?
That is what they call speculation.
Somethig that the policemen do when they're trying to scare you.
Why don't you go play with your friends?
There was a witness, Michael.
A witness at the junkyard. He saw everything.
- Ah, what did he see? - He?
How did you know it was a man?
He just said a witness.
He, she, doesn't hardly matter. Because you are bluffing.
If you had any witnesses,
then I would be down at your stationhouse in one of your ridiculous lineups.
There's gonna be a lineup. Very soon.
Enjoy these moments with your son, Michael.
Take lots of pictures.
Because you're not gonna be seeing him for a very long time.
Finally. I got it.
I think I'm sick.
Save yourselves. She's gonna blow.
It's gonna be ugly.
Listen, um, I need a favor. Karen's going out this afternoon.
She said she's going to the movies.
I want you to follow her.
Oh, Captain, no.
- You said she denied everything. - She did.
Captain, that sergeant was joking around.
He was just trying to impress his idiot friends.
I don't think so.
Karen and me, we don't even fight anymore.
Last week, she said she was at her friend's house.
I called her, she wasn't there.
Week before that, it was the same thing.
Leland, don't ask me to do this.
Monk, I really need to know.
I'd do it myself,
but the chief says I need to go to this anger management class
which really pisses me off. I knocked out a tooth, one tooth.
It's not like I killed the guy.
Who was that clown? I've never seen him before.
Ryan Sharkey Jr. He was a motorcycle cop.
He just transferred in from Mendocino.
What, you pulled his file?
You bet I did.
He's a real hotshot.
Has a couple of big arrests. He's been cited for bravery twice.
And I hear he's a real lady's man.
You want some advice? Forget what he said.
Just forget it. Go home and hug your wife.
I don't want any more advice.
I wanna know where Karen is going this afternoon.
What if she sees us?
She's gonna know that you asked us to follow her.
Wouldn't that be worse?
Worse than not knowing?
?? killing you not knowing what happened to Trudy?
How many times have I asked you for a favor?
103, counting this, 104.
How many times have I said please?
Okay.
Okay, here's how you follow someone.
Stay at least 40 feet back.
But not more than 60.
And whenever possible, try to use reflective surfaces.
Reflective surfaces?
Yeah, see? Very discreet. Reflective surfaces.
Wait a minute, I lost her. Where'd she go?
Okay, would this be considered a reflective surfaces?
Yeah, well, mirrors. Mirrors are good, too.
Oh, this isn't good. What is that?
Come on, come on, come on.
- She's going, she's going. - Wait a second.
- What is that on my collar? - Come on.
What is that?
Okay, come on.
No, no, no, no.
- I hate this. - Yeah, I do, too.
How long have they been married?
Forever. Karen and Leland..
And they never had one thing in common.
I remember, this one weekend, he went hunting
and she stayed home
and organized a rally for stronger gun control.
It's hard when people get married that young, you know.
- You get older and change. - Yeah, not me.
Well, I know not you, but people.
- Come on. - Go, go, go, go.
Sorry. I'm so sorry.
It's okay. Mr. Monk, come on, come on.
- She's getting away. - But you can't just leave her like this.
It's a mannequin.
- Why do you say things like that? - Oh.
Oh, no.
So we're at her favorite restaurant, okay?
And I'm spending like a whole week's paycheck on this one dinner.
And then this jerk at the table next to me keeps yapping on his cell phone.
I hate those cell phones.
You can't have a decent conversation anymore.
- Did you say your affirmation? - Yes. Yes, I did. / Uh huh.
Okay, I tried. I really did.
I said, please, we're trying to enjoy our dinner.
And then his cell phone rang again.
And I guess I lost it.
I threw a plate.
A couple of plates.
Excuse me.
Yeah.
Uh huh.
Look, I can't talk right now, Karen. I'll call you later.
Leland, would you mind turning that off?
I can't. I'm on duty.
So what are you, a cop?
That's right.
You think you're better than me because you're a cop?
No, Peter, I think I'm better than you on general principle.
Well, at least I have some rough idea where my wife is.
Leland. Leland, look at me. Look.
Look at me.
Say your affirmation. I wanna hear it.
These things happen.
Say it again.
These things happen.
Sit down.
These things happen.
Leland is angry. Which is what?
- A feeling. - That's right.
Anger is just a feeling.
Leland, you don't have to act on your feelings. You're an adult.
You can choose how you wanna respond.
You're absolutely right.
I'm gonna give you something.
It's a backup plan in case you're out in the world and you're
in a situation and your affirmation is not working.
It's a fact.
You can't stay mad at anybody when you're playing with a yo-yo.
I want you to take this with you.
I don't think so.
You understand if I don't sign your certificate of completion,
you're gonna be with us for another 6 weeks.
Thank you.
- How's that feel? - It feels great.
- Good. - Thank you.
Leland, Leland. You don't have to do it that fast.
I guess I do.
All right, well, I checked everywhere.
There's no movie theater in this mall, so she lied about that.
Ah ha.
There she goes. Mr. Monk, we gotta go.
Ha ha, look, yeah.
10 dollars and three cents. That's how much is in there.
Okay, thank you. Now we know.
Yeah, I think we should make it even.
What are you talking about?
The fountain.
We take out three cents and that'll be 10 dollars.
It's a nice round number. 10 dollars.
Then everyone would be happier.
You always say that. Who is everyone?
Me.
You want me to reach in here and take out 3 pennies?
- Would you mind? - Yes, I would.
Look, look, she's moving again. We gotta go.
Mr. Monk, if we walk now,
we won't even think about the fountain.
I'll think about it.
It would haunt me.
The three extra pennies. It would haunt you?
It will haunt me.
There. Okay?
Okay.
My god.
She really is seeing somebody.
- Oh, no. - No. The poor captain.
Is it Ryan Sharkey?
I can't see his face. Try to get closer.
Excuse me.
Did you just take money from that fountain?
No.
Ma'am.
Well, yeah, I mean..
We were making it even.
Come with me, please.
I just need to get a shot.
I don't want any trouble. Just come with me.
- Get the shots. - You, too.
Get the shots.
...seemingly unrelated facts
coming together in Mark's mind to form an undeniable truth.
A picture of absolute clarity where before there had been confusion.
What do you know? Jesse asked him.
I know how Winston Brent was killed, Mark said.
And I know who did it.
I cannot believe it.
What kind of degenerate tears out the last two pages
of a Diagnosis Murder mystery book?
What are you doing?
I..I..I'm not gonna say anything. I promise.
Sorry, Gerald.
- Why is the Captain calling? - Don't answer it.
- Well, we can't avoid him for ever. - You've got to try.
Gerald Vingold?
Hi, I'm Lieutenant Disher, San Francisco Police.
This is Adrian Monk, Natalie Teeger. / Hi.
How are you feeling?
Like I got dropped out of a 3-story window.
Luckily I fell on a triple corrugated GE refrigerator box.
It's an excellent box.
If you ever fall on a box, try to make it a GE triple corrugated.
Well, I'll keep that in mind.
Monk, questions?
Yes. Mr. Vingold, Gerald.
Do you have any idea approximately
when you'll be finished chewing on that piece of meat?
Sorry. It's been a long time since I had a real meal.
Listen, you guys gotta help me get out of here.
It's okay. You're perfectly safe.
There's two policemen stationed right outside the door.
It's not me. I'm worried about Devo.
Who's Devo?
I fell on the box and Devo fell on me.
If the doctors find him, I don't know what they're gonna do.
Hospitals hate rodents. They're like fanatics about it.
We'll take care of Devo for you, I promise.
He's actually kinda cute.
Natalie, don't touch him.
Later on, when we have time,
I'll tell you a little story about the Black Plague.
He's not an ordinary mouse. He's a genius. He does impressions.
Watch. Devo, look at me. Do a gerbil.
Be a gerbil. He's shy. But he'll do it.
Come on, boy, you can do it. Yeah, go on, you can do it.
Do the gerbil.
Ah, there it is. Did you see that?
Yeah. It's uncanny. He's like Robert DeNiro.
Yeah, um, Mr.Vingold, those two burnmarks
on your neck, did he attack you with a stun gun? / Yes, sir.
- And you got a good look at him? - I sure did.
I'll never forget that face if I live to be 40.
And you're sure it was the same guy that you saw before in the junk yard?
Definitely. The same guy.
Mr.Vingold, we think we know who did this.
His name is Michael Karpov.
I'd like to bring you down to the station house later today,
so you can take a good look at him. We'll set a lineup.
Mr.Vingold, how are we feeling today?
You finished with this?
Right, I'm gonna take your pulse.
I'm sorry, golks, but visiting hours are over.
- He needs his rest. - Thank you.
- Are you okay? - Fine.
My shoulder's a little sore.
Mr.Vingold, good to see you.
- Captain. - Hey.
I've been calling you guys all day. Have you been avoiding me?
Yes, we have.
We were waiting till we could print this for you.
She's seeing somebody.
I knew it.
Who is it?
We never saw his face.
Is this any way to photograph a guy?
- We sort of got arrested. - It's a funny story.
- I don't wanna hear it. - No, it's really funny.
I really don't wanna hear it.
- It's Sharkey, isn't it? - I don't think so.
If you look at the shape of his left ear..
I don't wanna hear about the shape of the man's ear.
Monk, it's him. I can tell.
These things happen.
Screw it.
Guys, I've got a lineup downstairs in 5 minutes. I need to fill it out.
Volenteers?
Fine.
- Richard, how tall are you? - Five ten.
Good, you just volunteered. You're one.
Mr. Karpov, you're two.
I don't need your court order. You're just wasting everybody's time.
We will see.
- Landau, you're three. - What's wrong with me?
Sorry. You're too short.
It's funny. It's funny.
Nolte, you're four. I need one more.
Sharkey, you're in the lineup. You're five.
Not me, lieutenant. I just finished the double shift.
I'm not asking you.
All right, let's go. Let's do this.
Come on.
Gerald, this is Mr. Hoffman from the District Attorney's office.
Just relax.
It's one-way glass. They won't even know you're here.
- Ready? - Yeah.
Okay, send them in.
That..that's him. That's the guy.
You recognize him, don't you, Devo?
- He..he's... - W..wait.
Don't say anything. We have to do this by the book.
We have to wait till they all step forward.
You know where Ryan Sharkey's at?
He's downstairs in the lineup.
Number two, step forward.
Turn to your left.
Thank you.
Number three, step forward.
- Is that you? - You're pathetic.
Thank you. Number four, step forward.
Number three, please put the yo-yo away.
Number four, turn to your right.
Thank you.
- What's your problem? - You're my problem.
Number four, please let go of number three.
Number five, stop kicking.
Number two, step forward.
Number three, please let go of number four. Step forward.
How's it going?
Please stop. Stop. Stop please.
Please let go of number three.
Wait, he's in there. The killer in there.
I'm sure he is, Mr. Vingold. But it doesn't matter.
The lineup is busted.
That might have been the worst lineup in the history of law enforcement.
Yeah, it wasn't exactly textbook, was it.
Captain, what should I do?
You do your job, Randy.
You write it up exactly as it happened. Don't worry about me.
Where's Karpov?
We had to let him go.
Sergeant, sit down.
We're gonna need a statement from you too.
Leland, Natalie called to tell me that you've been fighting again.
Are you okay?
Yeah, I'm okay.
Why don't you ask about your boyfriend?
Hey, Karen.
Leland, I've never seen that man before in my life.
Karen, you can just stop pretending.
Now you're just insulting me.
Karen, would you just tell him?
Leland, I know you want to kill me.
I'd probably feel the same way, all right?
But you gotta understand.
Whatever happened between Karen and I didn't mean anything.
All right? It was a mistake.
I'm sorry. I'm apologizing to you.
Who are you?
Leland, he must be crazy.
Karen, it was fun. You gotta face the music.
It's over between us. Okay?
Okay, I don't know him. You've got to believe me.
- Do I? - Yes, you do.
- You have to believe me. - Why would he..
Why would he lie, Karen? Why would he say these things?
Excuse me. Excuse me, sergeant.
You're chewing that apple on your left side.
- Yeah, so? - Why?
Why, because your friend knocked my tooth out two day ago, remember?
Yes, I remember.
But he didn't hit you on this side.
The captain is right-handed.
He hit you on the other side. Your left side.
The side..the side you're chewing on. / Okay.
The captain didn't knock your tooth out, did he?
What are you, crazy?
I'm remembering a few other things.
You..you used to work at Mendocino, right?
When we saw Michael Karpov in the park,
his son was wearing a shirt. It said Mendocino Day School.
Michael Karpov lives in Mendocino.
Yeah, a lot of people live in Mendocino.
I don't know Michael Karpov.
I think you do. Ten minutes ago, downstairs,
you were wearing those clothes and Karpov called you sergeant.
That's right. I heard that too.
How did he know you were sergeant, Sergeant?
This is Disher. Is Gerald Vingold still in the building?
You work for Michael Karpov.
We always suspected there was a cop on his payroll.
You killed Chicklet, didn't you?
That's why you didn't shoot him.
Cuz you knew the bullet could be traced back to your weapon.
Here's what happened.
You lured Chicklet to the junk yard.
But he fought back.
He must've hit you. You were bleeding.
You lost a tooth. And you had a big problem.
Your DNA was all over that crime scene.
And the cops were on the way.
You didn't have time to clean it up.
You put your uniform on. You returned to the scene.
But you knew forensics would be there any minute.
What to do?
Then you had an idea.
I'm your husband. That makes it my business, okay?
If you picked a fight with someone,
if you could provoke them and get them to hit you,
you'd be home free.
They could find your tooth, your DNA, your blood.
And nobody would ever question it.
You told my husband we were sleeping together so that he would hit you?
??? You can't prove any of this.
I think we can. We can connect you to Karpov.
We'll pull your phone bills, your e-mails, your bank accounts.
Yeah, I think you might need a little more than that.
That's the guy.
I've been telling you guys all day.
I saw him at the junk yard. That's the guy.
Oh, hey, are you done with that?
It's not for me.
It's for Devo.
He's had a pretty rough day.
That mouse was in my pocket. It was in my pocket.
Let's go, Sharkey.
Are you okay?
Heck of a thing, huh?
Actually, it's kind of flattering if you think about it.
He picked me because he knew that I would react.
Cuz he could tell how much I love you.
It's not flattering, Leland.
Look, Karen. I know that I've got a temper,
but I've been working on it.
I've got a yo-yo.
Actually, I, uh, the yo-yo broke when I threw it at the guy.
Why didn't you believe me?
I had Monk follow you yesterday afternoon.
He saw you meeting a man.
You had me followed?
You wanna tell me about it?
His name is Max Tepperton.
He's a divorce lawyer.
You've been sleeping with a divorce lawyer?
You know what? It doesn't matter.
Because I forgive you, Karen.
Hell, I'm no saint.
- We'll get past this. - No, Leland.
He's representing me.
Stottlemeyer vs. Stottlemeyer.
Why? / Because you have to ask why, Leland.
That's why.
So is that it?
Yep.
Twenty years, two suitcases.
Where are the boys?
They're with Karen.
At her sister's.
How are they doing?
Not good.
Listen, captain, if you need somebody to talk to,
just call, anytime about anything even in the middle of the night.
Monk, I know your number.
No, no, it's not me. It's Natalie's home phone.
She's really good.
He's right. Anytime.
Thank you.
Well, you know the old saying, "When God closes a door..."
When God closes a door,
sometimes He breaks your heart.
That's not the old saying.
It is today.